The Procreation of the Zōion Entomon

I was late for my morning appointment. But at the same time, I was so sleepy. Moment like this makes me wonder where my coffee is?

I paused to imagine… wouldn’t life be a bit more comforting if I could enjoy a cup of freshly brewed coffee that comes with a layer of foamy but thick milk cream? Oh, how I missed the wonderful morning crowd of a cozy cafe where the air is filled with aromatic coffee, and the mere sight of the mouth-watering pastries would destroyed your diet in seconds! I find the rhythmic sound of the cutlery is mesmerising, and I could sit all day long in such a cafe! But of course, they should also have free wifi and a washroom to allow such enjoyment to last.

Hush! Hush!

Anyway, as I was rushing out to get to my appointment, I bumped into these two weird looking insects! I called it the zōion entomon, which is a Greek word for insect. Other times, I would feel squirmy. Oddly, not today! In fact, I managed to capture several positions of  them procreating. Now, says who insects don’t make out in a car? Only in this case, they are too preoccupied ‘doing it’ on the car’s bonnet in broad day light!

I have never seen this ‘creature’ in my life. So, I don’t know what it is. I hope it would not be a pest to plants or humans. Or else, I might feel bad for allowing such ‘call of nature’ took place…

 

 

I am not here!

I have been away from my homeland for over 5 years now. I do not feel at home anymore. Nor do I feel welcome! The politics, people, and environment seem too life threatening for me. Due to this, I have been in hiding. I have not met anyone (the people I know) since I stepped foot on this soil. That was over a year ago. No one has my contact. Just as not many knew of my return.

I am not prepared to meet anyone. Neither do I have the energy to answer heaps of annoying queries. Somehow I felt that catching up with them is like feeding the trollers. So, for the past one year since I was forced to return, I did not venture out much. Mainly because I am physically challenged — achilles problem. Also, I don’t feel joy going out anymore.

This behaviour is certainly unhealthy! I am very clear of two things. Living in a private lifestyle is one thing. Deliberately avoiding ‘friends’ is another. I have bumped into one of my long time ‘friends’ twice in a shop. I literally hide in between an aisle to avoid her. I peeped and listened to her conversation at the cashier, just so I know she is done with her payment and left the shop! This is so sad! What is going on with me?

Have I lost trust in mankind? Why do I feel life is too risky for me to be here?

Paying for my sins

I find the departure hall at the airport is one of the most depressing places to be in. Another 3 days to go before having to step on the plane again…

It’s so disheartening when I have to stare into the eyes of my loved ones & kissing them good-bye, and then being wheeled into the departure gate. I no longer be able to hold back my tears wondering when will be the next time we touch and kiss again. My world is so dull and meaningless without them being by my side.

I always wonder what is installed for me by the Almighty. How and why am I being placed in this situation? What is the pleasant surprise behind all these misery, suffering and waiting game?

Could I have been sinning in the past that I am being punished now? Is there hope to be hopeful? Oh, please show me some signs…

There will be a moment in time for this!

Some where over the rainbow lies a wish for the hopeful!

I miss spotting the colourful and vibrant rainbow from my backyard.

I could catch the moon within my hand.

I also miss the shower of the bright moonlight.

Moonlighting from my bedroom.

I just want to drop everything and run away. I don’t like what I have started doing some 16 years ago. I have lost all my interest and I just want to be able to live a decent life.

I want to break free to a place where I can have a peace of mind with my loved ones.

Will there be ‘light at the end of the tunnel?’

Have you ever been in a situation where life has no mercy on you? As much as I like to think otherwise, life has surely taken a toll on me. It sure felt like I am serving 6-7 years prison term without a doubt. There is no light at the end of the tunnel, nor there is any way out of this misery. My situation is so complicated that I don’t even know where to begin! What I do know is that I neither here nor there.
This is a story of exploitation, abuse of power, freedom, love, and will power. I am not sure which one will triumph. Will I survive under such duress, only time will tell…