After 703 days, I am barely surviving. Life is on a standstill, indefinitely. No job, no life, no health, I wonder when my time is up.
My health continues to deteriorate. Without much medical assistance, I foresee this will only get worse. Unfortunately, no practitioners or specialists are able to offer any sound advice or medication. I am now relying on traditional and natural medication. Only God knows when this will end.
I have not been out of my bedroom like for months. Being disabled and immobilised, there is not much of a life. I have lost interest in every thing. I have no motivation to do anything. It took me half a day staring at my blog to finally write this silly irrelevant entry – there is so much going on in my mind yet there is so little I can express.
I need an intervention. A great intervention from God to get me out of this misery. When will my prayers be answered?
At times like this I really pray and wish to have a doctor that would shut his/her trap and listen up! This is one department which I think they failed to learn in medic school. All of whom I have encountered are either too proud, too busy, or simply don’t care.
What good would it do for the patients if doctors pay no attention and effort in listening to them?
How many of you out there come across a medical practitioner that truly listen to your woes and not just half heartedly hear your voice during consultation?
Another day. Still all stress out with my current infection. Completed 4 swab tests and 2 scaling tests. A biopsy is scheduled for next month. It’s all pain with zero joy.
I am discharged from the ER after staying overnight in the observation ward. I am very exhausted and demotivated. I didn’t manage to catch any sleep at all while I was there.
I feel lost and saddened by the words of my naturopath which was thrown at me. I do not wanna discussed it here but nonetheless I am still very sad. Her words and behaviour making me having many thoughts to whether continue with her medication or not. I guess when you have lost respect with a medicine person, it would be hard to have anything to deal with the person anymore.
I would still need to return to the hospital tomorrow. I am referred to the dermatologist this time. I am praying hard that no steroid medicine will ever be prescribed to me, again!
I could feel all the negative energy is around me. Feeling sad, worry about serious matters the most. I am lost of words …
Lying in the hospital’s bed waiting for the specialist for ages. Wondering what would it be? Itchy, agony, swelling, weeping, sleepless in the not so quiet ward at the hospital.
Life has been extremely challenging for me this year. It has only been two months into 2014 and I find myself having trouble coping with the demands and suffering that have been offered to me so far. So much so that I have neglected my blog during this time.
One important piece of information I gathered during my course of medical help recently is that I have staph infection. In fact, there are heavily growing on my palm now. Only God knows how much of this bugger is in my immune system. Most importantly is that this bacteria has been in me for quite sometime. It has manifested in the form of arthritis pain in the past – this is very likely the cause to my sudden tendonitis problem. And now its’ manifestation takes the form of eczema. My eczema becomes worse the moment I stopped using steroid. The rebound effect of steroid is hellish. And now with the heavily growth infection on me – is just unbearably torturous.
28th Feb 2014.
Temporary disabled and immobilised due to staph infection now.
Spent thousand of dollars in vain. Unemployment makes life even more stressful.
I find myself feeling suicidal at this moment.
Dear Lord! I can ‘t handle this any longer. Please hear me out! Take back this pain, sickness and suffering. It has been years till I lost count.