I am down with a cold! Runny nose and terrible sore throat. My rashes are still flaring but it has subsided like 15% after 4 shots of traditional Chinese medicine for 2 days, consecutively. I am gonna get some more tomorrow as I have already ran out of the Chinese medicine.
Need to get some rest now…
My health is still deteriorating fast. Lying in bed sick is not the ideal way to spend Christmas eve. And being alone is making it sad! Grinch must have stolen Christmas!
Earlier today, I had to cancel my attendance to my former student’s wedding dinner which is happening this weekend. This is very unfortunate because I was looking forward to it. However, my condition doesn’t look too promising. Not only I will look terrible at the event, I feel horrible and uneasy too. I am just too uncomfortable to be sitting still or appear in public for long.
To everyone out there who is in celebration tonight, I wish you a blessed Merry Christmas. Say a little prayer for me to regain my health, my family and my life. All I want for Christmas is to have my decent life back in order to live happily and healthily with the love of my life and family. No more suffering and trauma, I ask from you, my Lord!
I am invited to a dinner party tonight by the owner of this temporary residence where I am staying at the moment. The party is a celebration of the Chinese Winter Solstice festival. Apparently, this is the final and the biggest celebration in the Chinese calendar. But what concerns me is the condition of my health right now. The flare ups are getting worse from the previous day. I am not sure if I can make it out of this room without feeling the extreme discomfort!
Previously, I have some doubt about the sudden break out on my skin. I was suspecting if the marks were due to bed bugs, or the fact that I have been sleeping in a room with no air-conditioning for the past few days! Undoubtedly, the heat has gravely affected me. But judging from the pattern of this flares, I am beginning to believe that it is not bug bites. It is also not allergy because I have been taking Zrytec quite regularly since the flares, and it didn’t help like it used to. So, all I can say is eczema flaring up to another level!
I have been on TSW for about 3 months. Perhaps, it is moving on to another level of challenges. At times like this, I am so tempted to return to steroid! But what good would it gives? It will only screw my life further and I will forever be doomed! So, please help me God!
It has been a long exhausting day for me yesterday. After settling my affairs at the Embassy, I spend the entire day scouting for furnitures and other household items. I went to Ikea for inspiration, and the place was packed. Every section of Ikea was crowded. I had to be in the line for over 15mins at the food hall. At the end of my shopping, I have only 3 items with me. An ‘as it’ stool, a plant, and a toilet brush! But all the available check out counters at the main hall were full too. To make matter worse, the line was taking far too long to move. After standing there for 3mins, I decided to leave. I can’t do this anymore. I was queing for 20-mins at the Embassy, and then at the food hall. My feet will be damned if I continue.
Upon arriving ‘home,’ I pondered on the incomplete ‘To Buy’ list which I have made. I wondered, how am I gonna afford this? The list simply consists of the basic necessity for a family’s household with many missing important items still! I knew I would have exhausted all our resources to get through the list. All the expenses have surpassed our savings and we will have nothing left. This worries me, heaps. I have never been in a situation like this before in my life. This is devastating. Once again, I am back to the lowest of the low. All I see is poverty in the making!
Oh, dear Lord! Please have mercy on this poor soul and her family!
It’s just past midnight. I think I should start getting ready for bed soon. I have another early appointment first thing in the morning tomorrow, I mean in several hours later. I will need to get up at about 5am which gives me less than 5hours to sleep. I will need to quickly iron some clothes before bed, so that I have more time to get ready later. I planned to leave by quarter past six in the morning to avoid the working hours madness.
Where am I heading to so early? I have a 9.00am appointment at one of the Embassies. I probably will be having coffee somewhere in the city while waiting for the embassy to open. Speaking of that, I need to google map the direction to the Embassy. I have the faintest idea where it is located.
Better go now…
I was late for my morning appointment. But at the same time, I was so sleepy. Moment like this makes me wonder where my coffee is?
I paused to imagine… wouldn’t life be a bit more comforting if I could enjoy a cup of freshly brewed coffee that comes with a layer of foamy but thick milk cream? Oh, how I missed the wonderful morning crowd of a cozy cafe where the air is filled with aromatic coffee, and the mere sight of the mouth-watering pastries would destroyed your diet in seconds! I find the rhythmic sound of the cutlery is mesmerising, and I could sit all day long in such a cafe! But of course, they should also have free wifi and a washroom to allow such enjoyment to last.
Hush! Hush!
Anyway, as I was rushing out to get to my appointment, I bumped into these two weird looking insects! I called it the zōion entomon, which is a Greek word for insect. Other times, I would feel squirmy. Oddly, not today! In fact, I managed to capture several positions of them procreating. Now, says who insects don’t make out in a car? Only in this case, they are too preoccupied ‘doing it’ on the car’s bonnet in broad day light!
I have never seen this ‘creature’ in my life. So, I don’t know what it is. I hope it would not be a pest to plants or humans. Or else, I might feel bad for allowing such ‘call of nature’ took place…
I have been away from my homeland for over 5 years now. I do not feel at home anymore. Nor do I feel welcome! The politics, people, and environment seem too life threatening for me. Due to this, I have been in hiding. I have not met anyone (the people I know) since I stepped foot on this soil. That was over a year ago. No one has my contact. Just as not many knew of my return.
I am not prepared to meet anyone. Neither do I have the energy to answer heaps of annoying queries. Somehow I felt that catching up with them is like feeding the trollers. So, for the past one year since I was forced to return, I did not venture out much. Mainly because I am physically challenged — achilles problem. Also, I don’t feel joy going out anymore.
This behaviour is certainly unhealthy! I am very clear of two things. Living in a private lifestyle is one thing. Deliberately avoiding ‘friends’ is another. I have bumped into one of my long time ‘friends’ twice in a shop. I literally hide in between an aisle to avoid her. I peeped and listened to her conversation at the cashier, just so I know she is done with her payment and left the shop! This is so sad! What is going on with me?
Have I lost trust in mankind? Why do I feel life is too risky for me to be here?
Everyone else is sound asleep except me >.<
It is after midnight here. I have not entirely unpacked. All my luggage is finally in my room. This was not an easy task because the room I am temporary staying is located one floor up. I have enough trouble getting myself up to the room. There is no way I could do that with the luggage. So, I had to rely on the kindness of other tenants to help carry the luggage. They will only do so, as and when, they are passing by my room. Hence, my luggage took such a long time to arrive!
Now, let’s reflect on my horrendous journey which I had recently been through.
While I was waiting for the boarding gate to open at the airport, I noticed one very important document sticking out from my passport. That was the outgoing passenger card which was supposed to be collected by the border’s personnel at the checkpoint! How can the document is still with me?! Presumably, they must have overlooked and forgotten to take it out! This worried me. I don’t want to be blame for the mistake of others. Fortunately, I saw an airport personnel, Dennis – there was a name tag on his shirt, walked pass. I stopped him and asked for his help to return the card to the relevant authority. The border check point was too far from where I was and in my tired/painful situation, I was unable to walk back and fro again. After explaining to Dennis, he too agreed the Border was careless, and was kind enough to return the card on behalf of me. I sure hope he did!
Soon after, it was time for boarding. To my dismay, the seating arrangements were different from the layout shown on the airline’s website. I felt a little cheated for paying for seat selection as it wasn’t true to what was advertised.
I was seated next to the window, securing a clear take off view. An image of this wonderful land of Oz that I am unsure of when we will meet again! A great moment of silence in my heart while the plane preparing to take off. Indeed, I felt heavy to leave, and so was the plane! The pressure from the take off was so strong. I was pulled me back to my seat for as long as I could remembered!
I must say that the unpleasant journey began with the departure! The person sat next to me was huge! I felt sorry for him as the seat is too small for his size. Having said that, for him to past on his problem to me is rather uncalled for. He was practically pushing the arm rest with his body while manoeuvring throughout his sleep, hence, was leaning on me. Truth is, I felt rather annoyed to have his body leaned against my injured arm and hand the whole time. To make things worse, he also occupied my side of the leg room. If I am a healthy person, I might excused his ignorance. Due to my physical health conditions, it is very important that I get enough leg room. I felt so uncomfortable having to battle with his thigh and foot invasion. I had to push his body parts away the entire night and it was a bloody 8.5hours flight! Oh, did I also mention that I decided to give up my prepaid window seat to swap place with him? I can’t bear being squashed to the window if I don’t!
Having to wait at the end of the stairway below the plane for the wheelchair alone is not something fun to do early morning!
Finally, we have landed after a torturous night without any sleep! I was the last person to disembark from the plane as I needed a wheel chair. However, I was made to wait by myself at the end of the stairway of the plane for a good 5-8mins before the sight of a wheel chair is visible. I must admit I was rather worried being in the open space alone with planes taxi-ing all over the place.
About 45mins later, I was out of the terminal. I purchased a pre-paid taxi and another 1 hour cab ride began. Finally, I arrived to where I am now. Feeling extremely exhausted and lacked of sleep, I was zonked! I skipped dinner that night. I can’t seemed to gather enough energy to leave the room.
I guess it took me quite a few days to recover from my jet-legged.
I have boarded and just waiting for take off. The best thing that could happen when one is flying is that the seat next to you is empty. This is what I am hoping for now.
Wish me luck and bon voyage!
Have gone through all the necessary process of checking in and checks. Now waiting for the departure gate to open. People are slowly filling up the waiting area now.
Not looking forward to leave just yet. But I do pray for a safe trip back to my destination.
Cherry Blossom ... 
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