I am no saint!

It burns! It itches! It flares up and spreads. Red bumps and flaky skin. On my neck, my chin, behind both ears. The thighs and calves. My wrist and arms. And my back too. There are all in constant agony. And I am ice bagging 24-7 till I fell unconscious. I will be awaken not long after; when the next severe itch and flares kicks in every 2-3 times at night, religiously. The Chinese herbs tend to do very little help. The process is slow. But I will keep taking as long as it is not steroid.

In the mean while, let’s not forget about the severity of the eczema on my palm and foot. There are just as bad and painful/itchy/inflamed/flaky/oozing.

Also, the constant shivering, goose bums, sore throat and running nose due to flu.

I am tired. I am sick. I am alone going through this test of constant pain and suffering. You may hear me whining. You may think I am exaggerating. God knows what I am going through now. And not to mention the other sort of emotional pain of being away from my family and still being unemployed.

This by far the biggest test In life. I have been through terrible times in life. Was emotionally and financially abused. Was physically tested with sickness as well – but it wasn’t as severe as this one.

My achilles issue almost got me immobilised. I now have to rely on wheel chair and a walking staff, occasionally. There are times where I am completely bed-ridden too.

This pain, itches, agony, suffering or whatever you named – ain’t exaggeration. What good does it do for me, anyway?

I am constantly praying. I am always in conversation with the Almighty. In fact, I just had my last appointment not long ago! I have faith! I belief! I also realised this is a test. BUT this is just too much for me to handle! I am just human. How can I possibly cope with everything all at once?! I am no saint!

Rashes & Itches

What is wrong with me? The area below my chin has been itchy for two days. Initially I thought it was due to sweat. But I took some photos this evening and discovered the are small red dots all over the entire stretch! Also, there are similar dots on my wrist too. What is more alarming is I woke up to a big dot on my lower lip! It is as if a mozzie bite! I wonder are those bite marks from bed bugs or rashes? There are itchy especially the ones below my chin! This goes the same to my back. Lately, I notice there has been an increase of some pimple looking red dots on my back as well. And they are no less itchy!

I think I will need a thorough shower that is infused with Himalaya salt, tea tree oil & epsom salt first thing tomorrow! There is no bath tub available here. I just had to make do with shower to cleanse away whatever stuffs on my body.

Why oh why am I being tested in such a way? I don’t know how long and well I could put up with this pain and suffering. I pray for my speedy recovery. I have been unwell and suffer for too long. I would like to be able to lead an ordinary healthy life for once! Please hear my plead, my dear Lord!